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Poutine. It’s a strange thing. For some, poutine is just an unappetizing pile of fat and carbs. For the rest of us living in the real world, poutine is a beautiful and filling combination of flavor and texture. Even when done poorly, poutine is still fries, cheese and gravy. That combination is A-OK in my book any day of the week.
If you’ve never been drunk and eaten poutine, you are missing out on one of the simplest, purest joys in life. The heavy, rich nature of the dish conjures images of the cold French Canadian bars from which it originates. Combining the perfect salty crunch of a twice-fried frite, the velvety goodness of a painstakingly crafted roast beef gravy and the unmistakable squeak of a just-warm-enough cheddar cheese curd, it is a trifecta of sensory pleasure and indulgence scarcely found elsewhere.
Picture this: You’re at the end of your night. Laughs were had, numbers exchanged, drink imbibed, and it seems like things are winding down. But somehow, the night feels incomplete, and you feel the gentle tug of some unseen presence, whispering. This is not The Force. It’s poutine, and it’s calling you. Do you answer? Of course you do. You're a human being with a soul, after all. You think about ordering a small, but you soon come to your senses and order a full-size, because the regret would be too great to bear. Every bite, each perfectly squeaky cheese curd, every crispy potato, brings you closer and closer to enlightenment. There is good in the world. You do have a place in the universe. Everything has led you to this moment. It’s perfect.
We here at Church of Poutine want to bring this simple joy to you, the hard-working and deserving citizen that you are. You might have had poutine in the past, but I can guarantee that you will not find a more lovingly prepared plate of fries this side of the Pecos. You won’t get to see the seven hour gravy making process, or to see us scrutinizing the local and organic product for the utmost quality, but you will absolutely taste our exacting standards in each bite. We promise that you will not walk away disappointed.